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Wednesday, April 07, 2004

The Final Exam (Iraq section) 

CNN.com - Rumsfeld: Coalition faces test of will - Apr 7, 2004
Rummy says "We're facing a test of will, and we will meet that test."
So, because this is exam time now at the university I work for, this remark put me in mind of drawing up a general exam to test "will" in Iraq:
1. Philosophy: Why are the Americans in Iraq? Please list at least five reasons in your answer which have now been declared "inoperative".
2. Mathematics: Take the number of WMD found and divide by the number of Iraqis killed. Then multiply the answer by the cost of the war in billions to the American treasury, and add the number of soldiers killed and wounded. Discuss.
3. English: Write a poem which rhymes "Freedom Fries" with "lies."
4. Geography: In your desk you will find a map of the United States. Calculate the distance between Walter Reed Hospital and the White House, and compare to the flight schedule of Air Force One over the last 12 months. Explain why Bush has been too busy to visit the wounded.
5. History: Describe how the average Iraqi would think that their experience under the American occupation differs from the Palestinian experience. Please include discussion of prisons, POW camps, targetting of civilians, and targetting of religious leaders in your answer.
6. Biology. Describe how far up his ass Rumsfeld can go with this "test of will" analogy, and how far he can take the American people before they realize how dark it is in there.
When completed, please turn your test paper over on your desk and have a good cry. Final grades will be curved.
(with thanks to The Final Exam poster -- and look at this version, too)

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