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Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Great lines of the year 

Canadian Press has published a round-up of the year's best lines. Here are ones I liked:
"I know a lot of you are going through separation anxiety... but there's nothing I can do about getting a Tim Hortons in Kabul," brigade commander Col. Al Howard to troops leaving for Afghanistan.
"A significant shock to the system." Lt.-Col. Dave Anderson, missions chief of staff of Canadian troops in Afghanistan, on their switch to American army rations.
"This is a typical day in a lawless country. It's Dodge City without a sheriff." Former Canadian diplomat Ken Taylor on the hostage-taking of two Canadians in Iraq.
"Guns turn punks into killers." Toronto Mayor David Miller.
"The right to bear handguns is not a Canadian value." Ontario Attorney General Michael Bryant.
"I don't want people to think I am someone who is dangerous who will do something to their children." Karla Homolka on her release from prison.
"Being cloistered with nuns could be a very good option." Anna Campagna, executive director of Centre Generation Emploi in Montreal, on Homolka's job prospects post-prison.
"I don't treat my dog like that. I buried my dog." Daniel Edwards on an elderly woman who lay dead in a wheelchair at the New Orleans convention centre three days after Katrina.
"They play hardball. There's no point in us playing some kind of Nerf ball here." NDP Leader Jack Layton on the debate with the U.S. over softwood lumber.
"Gomery put the scandal back in scandalous." Prof. David Docherty of Wilfrid Laurier University on the Gomery inquiry into federal sponsorships.
"If we do not do something about the BlackBerrys, we will have to develop a spray for them," Liberal Senator John Bryden on the technology that disrupts Parliament's electronics.
"The country they left to us has become a place of infinite possibilities." New Gov. Gen. Michaelle Jean on the Fathers of Confederation.
"Somebody might check your wallet before they check your pulse." Health Minister Ujjal Dosanjh on privatized health care.
"Come hell or high water, there's no frigging way I'm going to let one ovary bring the government down." An ailing Independent MP Carolyn Parrish on her efforts to get to a confidence vote in Parliament.
"It's like the thief who cries fire in a crowded restaurant." Stephen Harper on the Liberals criticizing the Tories.
"We have to start thinking that Hannibal Lecter is running the government and they'll do anything they have to do to win." Deputy Tory leader Peter MacKay on the Liberals attempt to hold onto power.
"It was the night of the election of the next loser." Foreign Affairs Minister Pierre Pettigrew on the election of Andre Boisclair as Parti Quebecois leader. "It's maliciousness, it's arrogance, it's smugness." BQ Leader Gilles Duceppe in response to Pettigrew.
"I think I'm ethically entitled to the entitlements which I believe are owing to me." David Dingwall, who resigned as head of the Canadian Mint after a fuss over his expenses, on whether he should get a severance package.
"We are talking the full range of various states of undress, and the more startling thing is we get people right down to starkers." Richard Mahoney, Liberal candidate in Ottawa Centre, on door-to-door campaigning.
"They've been dating for quite a long time; now they've decided to get married." McGill University business professor Robert David on the merger of beer giants Molson and Coors.
"The man's 63. He's going to die in jail. How much sterner could you get?" A pleased Gino Cavallo, who lost retirement money in the WorldCom scandal, on former boss Bernard Ebberss 25-year prison term for leading the largest corporate fraud in U.S. history.
"This has been one massive smear job from A to Z, and it will have a surprise ending." Fallen print baron Conrad Black on accusation he stole more than $80 million US from Hollinger International Inc.
"You know the outcome of an unsuccessful situation. I am talking about a complete splat." Judge James Farley on the never-ending Stelco Inc. restructuring talks.
"These are tough times for General Motors, but we've got to fight like hell to save them from themselves. Not putting in a new product in your best plant is not the greatest strategy to revive North America." CAW president Buzz Hargrove on the news GM planned to shut an award-winning plant in Oshawa, Ont.
"You generally find, in terms of fiscal performance, the laziest, sloppiest governments in the world are the ones that come up with these silly charges." Robert Milton, chairman of Air Canada, on governments that impose fees on airlines.
"He'll keep his clothes on." Charles Coplin, the man the NFL put in charge of the Super Bowl halftime show, on performer Paul McCartney.
"They are about to go over a cliff together on a Zamboni." Former Ontario deputy labour minister Victor Pathe on the NHL lockout.
"I drink a lot - I'm a curler - but I don't do drugs." Ontario curler Joe Frans on testing positive for cocaine at the national men's curling championship.
"Lord thunderin' Jesus, it feels awesome. I tell you I could swim to Italy right now." Curler Russ Howard after his Newfoundland team won a Winter Olympics berth.
"It allows us to feel like were contributing to society other than great tunes and great dancing." Tyler Stewart of the Barenaked Ladies on performing in the Live 8 concert for Africa.
"There's only so much T-A you can do within the confines of an intelligent, issue-driven story." Peter Simpson, producer of The Eleventh Hour, on the cancelled but award-winning CTV series.

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