To bring in the new year, I have gathered some of the funnier posts I saw over the last few weeks.✏️ As drawn by @AnnTelnaes: Hoping for a better year ahead https://t.co/3Rqp9s3sjf pic.twitter.com/DhESNz78dh
— Washington Post Opinions (@PostOpinions) December 31, 2022
This tweet also relates this kind of power:...The images of decent people coming to the aid of people who are scared, lost, confused and stigmatized will present the backdrop for the November choice ahead. This is the choice: decency or cruelty. Freedom or control. Democracy or MAGA.... Here is what matters: this is the audition. What does [DeSantis] want? He wants to be the American head of state. He wants to feel what it’s like to be the commander-in-chief of the most potent and deadly military in the history of humanity.This is how he thinks he gets there. He is talking to the small group of extremist donors, pundits, academics, and militia thugs who he believes control the Republican nominating process.DeSantis knows these people don’t want to talk about American unity. He knows they reject the notion of “E Pluribus Unum.” They aren’t interested in building or making things better. They want to punish, dominate and control half the country.DeSantis is laying his cards on the table. He is making an offering. He is trying to say, “I will hurt the people you hate”. What he is saying is, “Give me power, and anything is possible.”It has become difficult for MAGA politicians to distinguish themselves given the magnitude and severity of their movement’s disgrace, sedition and cruelty. Yet, DeSantis has managed to do it here.The Florida Governor is unfit, both morally and ethically....What does it mean when the practice of cruelty is put front and center, and the unfitness to lead in a pluralistic society becomes the elemental qualification for the nomination of one of the two major parties in America?It means we have arrived at an hour of national crisis that demands an end to an era defined by a lack of imagination.Did you see those stunned and confused people this week? If it can happen to them, then it means Ron DeSantis can wish it for you.Achieving that wish doesn’t require any more malice on his part. It just requires more power.He would love to live in a world where he can do anything because he has power.What do I think he would do with it? I think he would kill a lot of people, and I think that people who don’t see that are very naive.Why do I believe that? Look at the faces of the lost and sacred people in Martha’s Vineyard. That could be you.
asylees could not be traced. That is a little TOO CLOSE for comfort to what the Nazis did. I wouldn't be surprised if someone told the asylees that work would set them free! We are not that far from the unimaginable.
— Joyce Park (@troutgirl) September 17, 2022
Say what you will about David Akin but Pierre Poilievre sure showed his true colours during that encounter: Petty, insecure and narcissistic.
— Dean from Winnipeg (@Dean_Winnipeg) September 15, 2022
Yeah sure -- all those other countries couldn't deal with paranoid populists, but our Canadian guy can? Oh, dream on. I'm afraid Canadian media is already creating a Poilievre persona as a rational actor who can ride the whirlwind.A huge swell in real-world violence, harassment, intimidation and death threats against health care workers, journalists and politicians have shown how fervently these people believe in their cause. Indeed, anti-government fervour informed a plan to kill the Prime Minister in 2020 and an alleged plot to murder police officers during the blockade in Coutts, Alta.Whether it is out of genuine concern or a post-facto justification, Mr. Poilievre’s camp believes that the Conservatives can moderate this small but vocal minority, even if extremists walk among them. But even if they don’t, they figure, beating Mr. Trudeau would vindicate the risk.
The queen’s funeral is absurdly excessive at this point.
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) September 16, 2022
Two football teams who played the weekend after the Queen died are being investigated and will be "dealt with in the strongest possible terms" https://t.co/i4lFrLOTIC
— Sky News (@SkyNews) September 14, 2022
I've just had a message from my car insurance company telling me how sad they are that the Queen has died. They wanted me to know how sad they were. And how much they respected her.
— AR (@llewelyn20) September 16, 2022
That's enough now.
The important thing is that you filmed it. 👍 https://t.co/IXjNIbZQah
— GrieveWatch (@GrieveWatch) September 10, 2022
You did what now? 🤦♀️ pic.twitter.com/2fUhEOsDGt
— Lefty on the shelf..... 🇺🇦 🇪🇺 😷🐶 (@justwearmasks) September 16, 2022
It’s gone from bard to verse. pic.twitter.com/6ehHxvHc81
— GrieveWatch (@GrieveWatch) September 16, 2022
— GrieveWatch (@GrieveWatch) September 13, 2022Even Cyril the Swan is paying respect:
Cyril the Swan paying respect to his former owner Queen Elizabeth II pic.twitter.com/k6dDx0wBEM
— Mascots Minute Silence (@MascotSilence) September 13, 2022
I haven’t been able to even look at Donkey Kong since she died. https://t.co/Q7kIqsMOAx
— Michael Legge (@michaellegge) September 13, 2022
Shout out to the wellwisher who has stuffed a broccoli into the Buckingham Palace gates.#queen #floraltributes pic.twitter.com/aoY2C1Lfq3
— Lucy Bannerman (@TimesLucy) September 9, 2022
Since the queen died last Thursday, the country has ground to a halt.The queen is dead for breakfast, the queen is dead for lunch, and you’ll want to leave room for a nice hearty portion of the queen is dead for dinner, too. People are still going to work, sure, but there is no press except press about the queen being dead.Every business in the country—from chicken shops to pork jerky brads, chemists to cobblers—have felt the need to issue a public statement of grief about the queen dying. Supermarkets have turned down the beeps on their self-checkout machines to mark their depth of feeling for the queen. Our weather forecaster, the Met Office, has cut back the number of weather reports it is issuing “as a mark of respect during this time of national mourning.” An amusement park company, Center Parcs, announced its intention to kick all vacationers staying in their parks out for one day, the queen’s funeral, before realizing just how deranged that would be and making a U-turn.But there is also something more sinister brewing here. Hospital appointments on the day of the queen’s funeral are cancelled. Food banks are closed. Normal people’s funerals are also cancelled.On the day the queen died, Liz Truss, our new prime minister, quietly lifted the ban on fracking in this country and also announced a plan to relieve Britons of crippling energy bills this winter without explaining where that money is going to come from.I’m not suggesting that anybody offed the queen early for political expediency, but parliament will now be closed for a month: again, to respect the dead queen.This could hardly come at a worse time for the country.
The nasty politics of the "real Pierre Poilivrer".
— Lorne Nystrom (@LorneNystrom) September 15, 2022
This is what he did to one of his own high profile MPs who dared support his opponent @JeanCharest_
What would this nasty bare knuckes guy do to you?@HazelEros @gtlem @MerlinofCanada @jacklasalle1https://t.co/E6ThYqiSje
There hasn’t even been an election and Pierre Poilievre is already losing seats 😂
— Dean from Winnipeg (@Dean_Winnipeg) September 13, 2022
Even when Poilievre and the Conservatives do try to sort-of apologize, its just so stupid that its unbelievable.Sore winner.
— Greg MacEachern (@gmacofglebe) September 14, 2022
Next, the unbelievable:What happens when a Conservative MP disagrees with PP and decides to leave the party?
— Mark Gerretsen 🇨🇦 🇺🇦 (@MarkGerretsen) September 14, 2022
The “Conservative” Party of Canada goes all out war on you! 👇#cdnpoli pic.twitter.com/Tn5ZcbIf6U
🅿️ierre 🅿️oilievre doubles down & blames an automated text that was sent out to constituents of Richmond-Arthabaska demanding MP @AlainRayes resign was all by accident.
— Jaro Giesbrecht 🇨🇦🇸🇰 (@JaroGiesbrecht) September 15, 2022
Nobody believes you automated BS cover up story @PierrePoilievre.
Irresponsible leadership & its only day 2! https://t.co/V4TgdcJLie
...the federal government has announced their assistance package for low-income people dealing the effects of high inflation, and Poilievre calls a press conference to react. And the spectacle begins.David Akin, one of the reporters present, takes offence that Poilievre insists he won’t take questions (and he hasn’t since he was made leader), and starts shouting questions at him.And what does Poilievre do? Call Akin a “Liberal heckler” (because the pool camera can’t see Akin as he’s behind it), and a few hours later, sends out a fundraising appeal to his base that plays victim, that the media is out to get him, and that they’re all protecting Trudeau, and that you need to send him money to take on both Trudeau and the media.It’s gross, it undermines institutions, it undermines democracy, but he doesn’t care. It’s his game. And most of the media in this country have no idea how to react to it, and it’s going to be a real problem going forward.
Wow. It’s going to be a stupid few years with this bullshit. Great. https://t.co/UiE7ZcXYMU
— David Moscrop (@David_Moscrop) September 13, 2022
Also, Smith's "hermit crab" analogy is great here:Lots of readers/viewers called me about today’s Parliament Hill presser. Many said I was rude and disrespectful to @PierrePoilievre . I agree. I’m sorry for that. We all want politicians to answer questions — but there are better ways of making that point.
— David Akin 🇨🇦 (@davidakin) September 14, 2022
It’s a hell of a bet. Either the Tories think Poilievre can attract urban and central Cdn voters where Scheer & O’Toole failed, or they’ve given up trying to win them over in favour of going after PPC and non-voters.
— Andrew Coyne 🇺🇦 (@acoyne) September 14, 2022
Or: this isn’t about winning, but just tribal affirmation.
This is what I keep saying—because we have so throughly bastardized leadership contests, political parties are now hollow shells to be inhabited by a series of hermit crabs. They are little more than brand names being fought over, and little else. https://t.co/9sqkUgPiDP
— Dale Smith (@journo_dale) September 14, 2022
Reassuring to see that even a King gets embroiled in feuds with the inanimate objects of our culture. https://t.co/9ot1ZXjkg5
— Cathie from Canada 🇨🇦 😷🏳️🌈 (@CathieCanada) September 13, 2022
Finally, yesterday I saw this tweet and the comments and suggestions that followed:Had a dream I presented King Charles and the queen escort with a BIC pen and he kicked me in the nuts.
— Gary Shteyngart (@Shteyngart) September 14, 2022
So now I have put together a new Twitter List that I call "Tweet Masters" so I won't lose track of the best tweeters on the Internet. You can follow this list if you want: https://twitter.com/i/lists/1569911596562137091?s=20It's hilarious to me that there are celebrities in their mid-20s who pay small fortunes to have PR consultants run their social media, and meanwhile, there's Henry Winkler and Dan Rather just effortlessly understanding the assignment.
— Charlotte Clymer 🏳️⚧️🇺🇦 (@cmclymer) September 13, 2022
Pretty impossible to sleep tonight. The mood. The lyrics: “Russian ship, go f*** yourself!” #UkraineWillWin pic.twitter.com/qa9NEO0nV8
— Zarina Zabrisky 🇺🇦 (@ZarinaZabrisky) September 10, 2022
Ukrainian women in Balakliya thanking Ukrainian soldiers for liberating them. pic.twitter.com/zjU0Psufg6
— Visegrád 24 (@visegrad24) September 11, 2022
Says the ongoing counteroffensive was designed by the General Staff to be on two fronts, simultaneously: Kherson and Kharkiv. "That is their idea how to do it in the two directions."
— Nick Schifrin (@nickschifrin) September 10, 2022
There are Extremely Unconfirmed Reports from within the last few minutes that Ukrainian Forces have managed to capture Donetsk International Airport after Russian Forces retreated and that they are now beginning to advance into the outer areas of Donetsk City. pic.twitter.com/hxBfpaYWwB
— OSINTdefender (@sentdefender) September 10, 2022
We may be nearing the moment when Russian generals realize that continuing to follow Putin’s orders won’t win the war in Ukraine but will leave the military too weak to defend itself at home. https://t.co/SqHt6LBhAq
— The Hoarse Whisperer (@TheRealHoarse) September 10, 2022
Absolutely stunning to watch news of Ukraine liberating town after town, soldiers stopping to raise flags, take selfies, and then go to the next location. It's both the speed and giddiness of this offensive that's so formidable.
— Jane Lytvynenko (@JaneLytv) September 10, 2022
What makes the Ukrainian strategic planning of the last few months so remarkable is that they seemed to understand all the fundamental weaknesses of the Russian Army and devised and executed a plan to exploit those to their maximum potential.
— Phillips P. OBrien (@PhillipsPOBrien) September 10, 2022
Yes! The reports of Russia winning victories in the Donbas were always wrong, as rhe Russian Army won nothing. It bloodied itself for irrelevant gains (in war fighting terms). The whole campaign was a Russian disaster. https://t.co/hd07ZMfNpM
— Phillips P. OBrien (@PhillipsPOBrien) September 10, 2022
You can't imagine what this feels like for Ukrainians who have been terrorized by russian soldiers for 7 months
— Saint Javelin (@saintjavelin) September 9, 2022
Watching the russian military collapsing, and running scared, is cathartic for an entire nation
Things to negotiate: return of Ukrainian deportees, Ukrainian ownership stake in Russian oil and gas fields to finance Ukrainian reconstruction, Putin’s next career as guest greeter at Fox News studios on Sixth Avenue
— David Frum (@davidfrum) September 10, 2022
Unbelievable. Do conspiracy theories cluster? Um, yep.
- GMO fearmongering?✅Don't forget the wind turbines that kill everything that flies and the poor kids mining cobalt for solar panel production in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
— Dr Richard Gawel (@oliveoilguy) September 2, 2022
- Chemtrials? ✅
- Anti-fluoride? ✅
- 5G nonsense? ✅
- Antivaxx? ✅ (I mean, obviously).
- Nanobots in vaccines? ✅
- Ranting about all this in a car? ✅
- ENDORSED BY THEO FLUERY? ✅ https://t.co/pppMUKq8I4— Timothy Caulfield (@CaulfieldTim) September 2, 2022
I don’t think we should underestimate just how many seemingly smart and decent people have gone down this rabbit hole. I’m legit concerned. The issue is you can’t dispute their views. There’s no reasoning. They’re lost. /2
— David Brown (@OrbitStudios) September 2, 2022
Again, “Everyone is entitled to their opinion” means you can’t tell someone they’re wrong for liking rocky road over Neapolitan. It doesn’t mean you can wrap bigotry, ignorance or misinformation in the veneer of an “opinion” and expect others to give it respect or consideration.
— Aaron Hoyland (@aaronhoyland) September 1, 2022
For a guy who says he’s all about freedom you sure do plan to ban, cancel and “not allow” people to do a lot of stuff.
— Barney Panofsky's Best Intentions (@mynamesnotgordy) September 1, 2022
Remember how Harper hired a bunch of Hitler Youth to shut up scientists? Sounds like Poilievre plans the same thing, except for all departments & all civil servants, in the name of "plain speaking".
— Cathie from Canada 🇨🇦 😷🏳️🌈 (@CathieCanada) September 2, 2022
Pierre Poilievre the Language GATEKEEPER! pic.twitter.com/BJNqEIX03g
— Nickie with an 'e' 😷 💉 🚲 (@winter_canada) September 2, 2022
Liberals: “we’re still working on everything Harper broke”
— Dean from Winnipeg (@Dean_Winnipeg) September 2, 2022
Conservatives: “OMG Harper was 7 years ago, talk about what’s happening now!”
Also conservatives: “Hey did you hear about Chrystia Freeland’s grandparents during WW II??!?”
NBC has obtained the Mar-a-Lago search warrant. It shows Donald Trump is under investigation for potential obstruction of justice and violations of the Espionage Act
— Chris Jansing (@ChrisJansing) August 12, 2022
MSNBC confirms that the “Espionage Act” being used in the warrant means that there was evidence that Trump had transferred information to a third party (foreign gov’t or organization).
— Harvey Bobrow (@Hbobrow1Hbobrow) August 12, 2022
This is a whole new level of treachery.
CNN analyst says the intel Trump stole are so sensitive that FBI agents will begin FINGER PRINTING each document to find out who actually touched them.
— Brian McBride (@BrianDMcBride) August 12, 2022
I think everyone is sleeping on the fact that before they got the warrants the DOJ was given surveillance footage of the rooms in which the documents were stored.
— Fred Wellman (@FPWellman) August 12, 2022
They got video of who looked at them THEN went in.
Chew on what that implies for a second. It tastes like treason.
So Republicans are running on unlimited price-gouging of insulin, ending Social Security and Medicare, and forcing ten year old rape victims to give birth. That is some platform. Please pay no attention to the former president who committed espionage #TRE45ON
— Miz Anthrope (@jenaglez) August 12, 2022
What in the world would Trump be doing with top secret classified information about nuclear weapons? There is absolutely no reason why an ex-president should take that out of the White House, except one. That kind of info would be worth A LOT OF MONEY!
— Cenk Uygur (@cenkuygur) August 12, 2022
Once again I expect there will be a determined effort on the part of GOP leadership to throw Trump overboard, but Fox News and MAGA will not permit it. The only possibility for change now is absolute electoral defeat of Republicans in 2022, 2024, 2026 and 2028 -- with gerrymandering and corruption all the way up to the SCOTUS, I don't know if it is still possible:A major FUCK YOU to every trumper who told me if I didn't like "X" I should leave the country, you're defending a traitor who sold nuclear secrets to our enemies -- YOU leave the country.
— BrooklynDad_Defiant!☮️ (@mmpadellan) August 12, 2022
Central question in US politics now is how much damage will Trump, massive conspiracy to overthrow an election, extremist abortion restrictions do to the GOP brand and how long will that damage last.
— Simon Rosenberg (@SimonWDC) August 12, 2022
My take - a lot of damage, and it will last for many many years. https://t.co/Z6XjUQI4Ma
They have now figured out the new line -- that Trump had "declassified" all the documents before he took them out of the White House so, by definition, he's good!It’s going to be tough to ButHillary or ButHunter their way out of this one but they’re going to give a shot
— Acyn (@Acyn) August 12, 2022
I mean, the “it was just an accident, didn’t mean to keep them, and also declassified them” is deeply humiliating, but Trump has just the people to carry that water. https://t.co/0lcmSZmF1S
— 18Hat793 (@Popehat) August 12, 2022
Yeah, sure.michael scott declaring bankruptcy https://t.co/Sg8lEJrp7l
— Amy (@lolennui) August 13, 2022
Having Rogers internet down all day meant spending the day talking with family. They seem like nice people. 🤣
— KNugent4118🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦 (@knugent4118) July 8, 2022
I can't grasp the scale of how bad this is at Rogers. This is an unprecedented disaster. Been down now for over 12 hours and they still don't know why.
— Catelli 2.0 🚣🚴🏕 (@Catelli2Oh) July 8, 2022
And they have really smart engineers working there. I know, I've worked with them.
You start a simple kitchen reno. And then next thing you know you're jacking up the house and rebuilding the foundation from the footings up.
— Catelli 2.0 🚣🚴🏕 (@Catelli2Oh) July 8, 2022
There is no "just put the wall back up and hide the mess we found"
And that story about SCOTUS justice Brett Kavanaugh being chased out of Morton's by protestors:They appear to have turned their router off and back on again.
— David Cochrane (@DavidWCochrane) July 9, 2022
The Morton's restaurant chain opened in 1978 and is therefore not "deeply rooted in the nation's history and traditions."
— Lawrence Glickman (@LarryGlickman) July 8, 2022
Yup, you have to articulate the right at the most specific level you can so that you can find that the right doesn’t exist. There is no fundamental “right to eat at Morton’s in DC on a Thursday night without leaving through the back due to protestors”
— Defend the Truth and Defeat the Lies (@fitzador) July 8, 2022
On the other hand, they could argue that the right of powerful white men to ruin other people’s lives and expect to not face even the mildest of consequences is very much “deeply rooted in the nation’s history in tradition”
— Jacob Harris (@harrisj) July 8, 2022
What did Brett Kavanaugh and his right wing Supreme Court pals think their lives would be like after they criminally assaulted 200,000,000 American women? Did they think people would just smile at them in restaurants? Also goodbye Mortons for aggressively taking Kavanaugh’s side.
— Palmer Report (@PalmerReport) July 8, 2022
It doesn't matter if protesters interrupt his meal because Brett Kavanaugh believes dinner begins at reservation
— Frank Lesser (@sadmonsters) July 8, 2022
All six of the SCOTUS majority are too arrogant and stupid to understand that they will never eat an unspat-in restaurant meal for the rest of their lives.
— Randy Cauthen (@Joe_Bourgeois) July 8, 2022
I find it hilarious that Tamara Lich's lawyers awarded her some bs "freedom award" that ended up causing her to lose her freedoms. Good job JCCF! #cdnpoli #FreeDumbConvoy
— Rob Gill (@vote4robgill) July 8, 2022
We have now entered the glorious “Find Out” phase.
— Jay Gamble (@DrJayDrNo) July 8, 2022
I bet she’s pissed her little attempted martyrdom didn’t get the goobers worked up enough to overthrow the Commie Nazi tyrant Trudeau. 😂🤣😂https://t.co/irmv1TDheI
Elon Musk has announced he is not going to buy Twitter as he needs more time to stay at home with his families.
— Gene Spafford (@TheRealSpaf) July 8, 2022
BREAKING: Elon Musk has terminated his deal to buy Twitter, which is shocking because I didn’t think he knew how to pull out of anything.
— Jo 🌻 (@JoJoFromJerz) July 8, 2022
Some do not:Take Back your Freedom. "Reclaim what has always been yours." It's Cdn #MAGA - Pining for the Canada of the "good old days" when the wood in the video was used to build barns. Brace yourself for more messaging that rubs the tummies of "old stock Canadians" - making others cringe. https://t.co/ASNbMmwSVt
— Charles Adler (@charlesadler) July 4, 2022
Basically, its all just more Poilievre BS:This message of "freedom" is a powerful one, even though what it actually means is letting Canadians be racist and sexist, underpay workers, operate unsafe factories, fire teachers, & dismantle any other "state interference" that actually gives us all real freedom.
— Cathie from Canada 🇨🇦 😷🏳️🌈 (@CathieCanada) July 3, 2022
Pierre Poilievre is a dendrophiliac.
— Dean from Winnipeg (@Dean_Winnipeg) July 4, 2022
And his little stroll with the the so called “convoy” boys yesterday fell pretty flat & he cancelled some speech he was due to give.
— Janice D🇨🇦🐾 (@janbear105) July 3, 2022
Meanwhile, Trudeau-bashing continues apace, especially from Jean Charest's campaign manager who has a book to shill and gets a National Post column to do it:Can we make sure that meme includes the white nationalist he was having a chat with while on a stroll? I don’t want anyone to forget about that. https://t.co/c9f1Mx7qpR
— Lisa Kirbie (@lisakirbie) July 4, 2022
“Woke”. I find it remarkable that the power brokers and wordsmen have successfully convinced millions of stupid people that being aware, knowledgeable, educated and fair is shameful and evil and that ignorance is godly. Genesis. Same old story.
— Rogue Chimp (@roguechimp99) July 3, 2022
