I ate a box of Thin Mints, didn't get thinner. I don't think they work 😡
— Hear Me Roar (@Stop_Trump20) August 12, 2020
Tucker Carlson thinks it’s cool to mispronounce Kamala Harris’s name.
— George Takei (@GeorgeTakei) August 12, 2020
Hmmm. What sounds like “Tucker”?
Check me out guest hosting @JimmyKimmelLive tonight 🤯 pic.twitter.com/4vVsbT579x
— Sarah Cooper (@sarahcpr) August 12, 2020
A priest, a minster, and a rabbit walk into a bar. The rabbit says, "I think I'm a typo."
— Stephen King (@StephenKing) August 6, 2020
If you voted for trump because "he's not a politician", then I hope your next colonoscopy is done by a plumber.
— Mo Bella🌊 🌊 🌊 🌊#VoteBlueToSaveAmerica (@Mocraig13) August 6, 2020
Feeding 10 dogs at once is like going through Game of Thones every single day with the plots and betrayals and double-crosses and backbiting and frontbiting and dominance and submission and a finale that feels rushed and leaves everyone dissatisfied.
— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) August 5, 2020
They catch the fish and then let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, they just want to make it late for something.
— mitch hedberg (@mitchhedbot) July 31, 2020
— Scrappy McBuckyball (@ScrotieMcB) August 14, 2020
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