Today in "Christ, what an asshole!"

And everyone in Canada knows exactly who I'm talking about first.

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Sick hydronym burn

- Paul Wells

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"Not his best work…" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 oh Wab! www.youtube.com/shorts/jP4oN...

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— Vanelle 🦋🇨🇦 🎹🎤 & Buy Canadian Warrior (@vanellemusic.bsky.social) August 27, 2026 at 1:55 PM

Asked about Trump “renaming” Lake Ontario, Flavio Volpe, President of the Automotive Parts Manufacturers’ Association said, “If you saw someone you love acting this way, you’d call a nurse.”

- AHBurns

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BREAKING NEWS: Youppi! has signed an executive order to rename Washington Nationals as “Montreal Expos,” a change the mascot says ​would take effect immediately pic.twitter.com/5V1xnZtajh

— Montreal Expos (@Montreal_Expos) August 27, 2026

I think for years, all of us in Canada realized that the US was mostly a figment of its own imagination. A myth of epic hubris that we shrugged off tolerantly, understanding they needed to see themselves as White Hats for the world, benefactors extraordinaire. It was no big deal. Americans needed to strut, to feel superior. They were basically friendly although loud, and for the most part generous to the downtrodden even when we suspected they had been doing the downtrodding. So we indulged their fantasy, took advantage of it on occasion if we are truthful, and complacently got on with life. But I am positive that NOTHING prepared us for the epic collapse of the myth that we are witnessing! Who would ever have dreamed that those stout beams holding up the whole ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ image were so rotten with wormholes! And we’re not just witnessing the implosion; we are being hit by flying debris. It’s getting tedious. Like living next door to a golf course and desperately trying to protect the windows from the raft of inept but demonic golfers swinging wildly and trampling the gardens. As I said: it’s getting tedious. Hopefully, they will come to their senses and get a grip on reality before someone burns down their clubhouse. Again Poetically-speaking, of course.

- Joanne Pettis 🇨🇦

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I knew I liked Jelly Roll

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Runners-up:

Pete Hoekstra

What a disgusting, petty, unprofessional, cowardly undiplomatic little man @USAmbCanada @petehoekstra is. The White House has lost all their class and any semblance of respect. “The Ugly American” unchained. pic.twitter.com/uTz2hUBykE

— Stephano🍁Barberis (@HelloStephano) August 26, 2026

That petition to kick Pete Hoekstra out of the country can still be signed here.

Pierre Poilievre

Pierre Poilievre demands that the PM adopt his economic plans, no matter how nonsensical they actually are. Because he has one set of solutions for all of Canada’s problems, and he will not be dissuaded.

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— Dale Smith (@journodale.bsky.social) August 25, 2026 at 11:06 AM

Jamil Jivani
Evan Scrimshaw writes a blistering column on Jivani, and on Poilievre's cowardice for not getting rid of him:

...Jamil Jivani wants to be the next Leader of His Majesty’s Loyal Opposition, and yet I don’t think there’s a less apt word for the soon-to-be ex-MP for Bowmanville-Oshawa North is acting these days. Jivani is selling out his country, and every day Poilievre lets him sit in caucus is a day he enables treachery... ...Jivani is clearly not putting Canada’s interests first. He never has, from when he gave an interview to Breitbart about how Canadians are throwing a hissy fit over the 51st State comments and tariffs to now, when he had a self aggrandizing statement out and a media interview ready within 24 hours of the talks collapsing after months of quiet. His argument - that America’s allowed to attack us but we shouldn’t hit back because it’ll “accelerate” their efforts to attack again - belongs in a textbook outlining various methods of psychological abuse, not an actual proposal for Canadian governance.
It would be a bad enough argument in a vacuum, but Jivani’s history with Vance makes it unacceptable. Assuming Democrats flip North Carolina, they have 47 Senate seats that can pretty safely be placed on their side of the ledger. Arguably their next four best chances of victory? Michigan, Maine, Ohio, and Alaska - four states highly integrated with the Canadian economy and for whom these tariffs will continue to be a disaster, at least in the short term. Canada refusing to retaliate would be great for the political fortunes of Dan Sullivan and Susan Collins, which is in turn great for the political fortunes of the Trump/Vance administration. Is he doing it because of Vance? I don’t know what’s in his heart, but he has more anger for Canadians being attacked than our attackers and his fantasy football buddy called Poilievre a nobody and Canada a state in the last 96 hours.
Poilievre’s tolerance of this is cowardice, even if we know why he’s doing it. Poilievre knows his base is psychotically pro-Trump, so standing up for his country and not getting fired becomes a hard puzzle to juggle. So he lets the MP for 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue get away with whatever he wants, because he doesn’t have the courage to do what everybody knows is right and fight back against his critics. ...

US Senator Ted Cruz - this is hilarious, what an ultramaroon.

Ted didn’t notice the name of the account who posted this Dolly clip he retweeted until it was much too late. He finally deleted it after he was made aware.

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— Ron Filipkowski (@ronfilipkowski.bsky.social) August 26, 2026 at 6:36 PM

Today's good Canada news:

The American brain drain gathers pace.

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— Mark Chadbourn (@chadbourn.bsky.social) August 27, 2026 at 11:13 AM

"Canada’s top economists told the country’s finance minister that the damage from the spiraling trade war with the US should be manageable, potentially bolstering Prime Minister Mark Carney’s case for walking away from the talks." www.bloomberg.com/news/article...

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— Bob Burgess (@bobburgess.bsky.social) August 27, 2026 at 2:35 PM

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— The Globe and Mail (@theglobeandmail.com) August 27, 2026 at 8:29 PM

The Peace by Chocolate folks are quick out of the gate. Well done.

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— Christopher Dornan (@chrisdornan.bsky.social) August 27, 2026 at 7:33 PM