Sunday, September 19, 2010

If Hillary Clinton was President

If Hillary Clinton was President today....
...the media would be talking about her failure to connect with ordinary voters, particularly men, because she's such a bitchy ball buster.
... there would be a Republican-financed Tea Party-type of movement, but it wouldn't be based on how Muslim-black the president is ("because he's really not one of us, you know"). Instead, it would be called the American Liberty movement (thus co-opting the "women's liberation" terminology) and it would be based on how mean and bitchy and ineffective the president is ("because that's the way women are, you know")
.... we would be seeing report after report about how everybody in the White House hates Bill, and how Bill is really running the country and telling Hillary what to do, and how they fight all the time behind the scenes. Oh, and there would be reporters on full-time 'Bill booty watch' assignment to catch him just glancing at any other woman. The tabloids would be having a field day revealing his secret love nests and linking him with every woman in Washington
... Vince Foster and the Arkansas land deals would be all the rage again. In fact, it would be a well-known fact in Republican circles that Bill and Hillary engineered the whole economic meltdown to cover up for how they and their Friends Of Bill and their Arkansas friends and their Hollywood friends made millions on the bailouts.
... Official Washington would have tut-tutted about everything connected to Chelsea's White House wedding. Sally Quinn would have been outraged at how pathetically classless the Clintons are. And how outrageous that Madame President picked an Oscar De La Renta gown-- he was born in the Dominican Republic, you know? And it showed far to much of her arms!
... self-proclaimed progressives would be pissed off at Hillary.
... and the media would be talking about how the Democrats were going to lose control of Congress at the mid-terms "just like Bill did" because of voter anger at Hillary.
In other words, business as usual.
(cross posted at Daily Kos)

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