Friday, December 17, 2021

Twas the night before a Covid Christmas!

 As seen on Facebook:

A Covid Christmas
Twas the night before Christmas, but Covid was here,
So we all had to stay extra cautious this year.
Our masks were all hung by the chimney with care
In case Santa forgot his and needed a spare.
With Covid, we couldn't leave cookies or cake
So we left Santa hand sanitizer to take.
The children were sleeping, the brave little tots
The ones over 5 had just had their first shots,
And mom in her kerchief and me in my cap
Had just settled in for a long winter's nap.
But we tossed and we turned all night in our beds
As visions of variants danced in our heads.
Gamma and Delta and now Omicron
These Covid mutations that go on and on
I thought to myself, "If this doesn't get better,
I'll soon be familiar with every Greek letter".
Then just as I started to drift off and doze
A clatter of noise from the front lawn arose.
I leapt from my bed and ran straight down the stair
I opened the door, and an old gent stood there.
His N 95 made him look pretty weird
But I knew who he was by his red suit and beard.
I kept six feet away but blurted out quick
" What are you doing here, jolly Saint Nick?"
Then I said, "Where's your presents, your reindeer and sleigh ?
Don't you know that tomorrow will be Christmas Day? ".
And Santa stood there looking sad in the snow
As he started to tell me a long tale of woe.
He said he'd been stuck at the North Pole alone
All his white collar elves had been working from home,
Those left in the toyshop had little to do.
With supply chain disruptions, they could make nothing new.
And as for the reindeer, they'd all gone away.
None of them left to pull on his sleigh.
He said Dasher and Dancer were in quarantine,
Prancer and Vixen refused the vaccine,
Comet and Cupid were in ICU,
o were Donner and Blitzen, they may not pull through.
And Rudolph's career can't be resurrected.
With his shiny red nose, they all think he's infected.
Even with his old sleigh, Santa couldn't go far.
Every border to cross needs a new PCR.
Santa sighed as he told me how nice it would be
Children could once again sit on his knee.
He couldn't care less if they're naughty or nice
But they'd have to show proof that they'd had their shot twice.
But then the old twinkle returned to his eyes.
And he said that he'd brought me a Christmas surprise.
When I unwrapped the box and opened it wide,
Starlight and rainbows streamed out from inside.
Some letters whirled round and flew up to the sky
And they spelled out a word that was 40 feet high.
There first was an H, then an O, then a P,
Then I saw it spelled HOPE when it added the E.
"Christmas magic" said Santa as he smiled through his beard.
Then suddenly all of the reindeer appeared.
jumped into his sleigh and he waved me good-bye,
Then he soared o'er the rooftops and into the sky.
I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight
"Get your vaccines my friends, Merry Christmas, good-night".
Then I went back to bed and a sweet Christmas dream
Of a world when we'd finished with Covid 19.

Sunday, December 05, 2021

Today's news: random funny stuff

COVID has convinced us of this truth: And here it is:
 


Sunday, November 21, 2021

Today's News: peek-a-boo!

This one was fascinating. Click through and get the whole story: I love this: Earworm alert!

Saturday, November 13, 2021

Today's news: when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging!

We saw Cleese in person one summer about 10 years ago, when they held a Just For Laughs festival in Toronto. 
 It did not go well. 
 But we can still love Fawlty, and the Dead Parrot sketch.  

 And Eric Clapton was also trending today.
At least The Riders won tonight!

Sunday, October 31, 2021

Halloween's Best

Gurdeep is a true Canadian treasure: The Pulp Librarian offers the top 20 halloween-inspired pulp magazine covers: Every year, somebody takes it just a little too far: And of course, the greatest music video ever made:

Sunday, October 24, 2021

Horses, fish, elephants, dogs ...

Monday, October 18, 2021

Today's News: truth

There is such truth here: And truth here too: And Halloween is coming up! Meanwhile, here in Saskatchewan, our COVID situation is so bad - I cannotimagine the chaos and death in Saskatchewan hospitals right now -- and our premier Scott Moe is leading us by naming some guy in North Battleford as the director of Covid response, and immitating a deer in the headlights:

Tuesday, October 12, 2021

Time for some funny stuff!

I loved these: And this one was so sweet it broke twitter - it got 700K likes:

Saturday, October 09, 2021

Why we need to hear The Story Of January 6

Here in a nutshell is The Story Of January 6 -- an impressive summary by Huff Post White House correspondent S.V. Date describing what happened in the Trump Insurrection:


This is what Americans need to be told about, every day, every speech, from Biden, Harris, Garland, Pelosi, Schumer, Psaki, AOC, Warren, and everyone else who wants Americans to understand and remember what happened. 
Yes, I know there are hundreds of charges underway around the country, and yes, I know there's a commission finally working on it. And yes, I know there are a few books coming out, and news stories written often about this or that picayune event or mystifying investigation. 
But Americans aren't going to put it all together by themselves. They need to hear The Story in every speech that is given by Democrats. 
Particularly now, as Trump starts up his rallies again, and gets coverage from media across the country as though he was just a normal person who is going to run for president in 2024. 
Instead, this is the kind of shit Americans are now hearing: I believe Americans have heard more in the last 9 months about the Biden dogs than they heard about the Trump insurrection. 
Now, I agree that Major and Champ were Very Good Dogs, and its sad that Champ has died and that Major isn't as well trained as he should be. 
But what Americans really need to hear about is how close they came to losing their republic.

Tuesday, October 05, 2021

Zoom meetings

So I just started a short-term job and one of the things I am going to be learning about is how to host Zoom meetings. Not, like this guy, I hope:

Monday, October 04, 2021

Today's News: Next year country

Well, the boys gave it a good try, but couldn't quite get into the post-season this year: Now that Trudeau has apologized to Chief Rosanne Casimir in Kamloops about not attending their ceremony on Sept 30, I think the Canadian media will stop talking about Tofino-gate or whatever we are calling it. Embarrassment is what I call it Some of today's funnier stuff too: Watch until the end:

Friday, October 01, 2021

Today's news: So maybe next year our TRC Day will actually be about Truth & Reconciliation?

Does anyone else find it rather odd that the Trudeau in Tofino story is now on its second day? Ridiculous. 
But the pearl-clutching sure did help Canadian media find an easy story hook for their TRC Day coverage  -- otherwise, hey, they might have had to talk to some Indigenous leaders and do some research and think about truth and reconciliation, and maybe, you know, even write news stories about all that uncomfortable stuff.  But then Trudeau flew to Tofino and the media butterflies fluttered - or should I say, flitted - right after him and this solved all their TRC Day news problems. 
Maybe by TRC Day 2022 we will actually focus on truth and reconciliation itself -- though I'm not holding my breath.   There are many other important things that Canadians to talk about: Go Jays! Here's the Blue Jays logo done by an Indigenous artist Kory Parkin who has other wonderful artworks as well.

Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Today's news: Truth and Reconciliation

 
Excerpt from the poem Forgiving Our Fathers,from one of the best movies ever made, Smoke Signals. An important thread:

Today's news: Soothing the savage b(r)east

What is it with these guys? 
Today we learned that White House staff were soothing Trump's rages by playing show tunes he liked: This reminds me of one of the funniest revelations about Canada's own famously thin-skinned prime minister Stephen Harper -- this happened during the Prorogue crisis in 2008
During the past week, while the nation wondered if the government would fall, junior Conservative staffers were ordered to be outside 24 Sussex Dr. by 6:15 in the morning. Their job was to stand there in the dark with the temperature well below zero and wait for the PM to appear. Their instructions were to applaud, wave and sing O Canada loudly as the motorcade pulled out of the gates and drove Stephen Harper to work. 
 Mr. Harper, by all accounts, actually believed that the young people were there of their own accord and represented a groundswell of love and support for his actions. Staffers in the Prime Minister's Office know that he is easier to handle when being applauded and not questioned. This way, nobody has to suffer at the hands of the inconsolable bear. 
Its these guys, who boast about how tough they are, who are actually way too easy to manipulate once their staff figure out how to do it. 
The leaders with a little more humility are the ones more likely to recognize when they are being played, or pandered to.
And in other news, of course Covid continues to ravage Saskatchewan and Alberta. And Saskatchewan's health minister seems to have disappeared: But finally, here's some happy news: