When you care enough to give the very best

In Nancy Nall's comments today, apropos of nothing in particular, they got talking about what gifts to give to the kids of relatives you don't like (the kids or the relatives or both). Here's some of the best:

They cranked out two of the most obnoxious kids I’ve ever been forced to buy Christmas presents for, so it was always books. Hearing them hiss “Books. Again.” was probably the only reason I had to look forward to the holidays. What can I say? I ought to get myself some passive-aggressive cards printed up. . . .
My brother in law bought a used tuba for his (now former) friend’s daughter. . . .
I once got one of my brother’s kids an electronic drum kit. He was so pissed at me that his Xmas present to me was membership in the NRA. . . .
I know a guy who bought an obnoxious in-law’s kids toy firefighter helmets equipped with flashing lights and sirens. Every time he had to visit, he took the kids a box of batteries.