Post-election News: voting maps, Carney wins, Wexit update, Poilievre sad. Plus, it's always fun to ridicule Trump!

In Canadian events today, some interesting maps showing how Canadians voted -- much more clearly than just showing big empty blocks of red and blue:

In response to the election map of #Canada showing large areas voting Conservative blue, here's a graphic from reddit entitled "Land doesn't Vote, People Do". #Liberals are red. #canpoli #cdnpoli #CanadaStrong Source: www.reddit.com/r/onguardfor... h/t @ianbremmer.com

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— Bill Comeau 🇨🇦 (@bill-comeau.bsky.social) April 30, 2025 at 5:25 PM

And here's news: the Liberals don't actually need another party to vote with them!
The Liberals have 169 seats while the Conservatives and the Bloc have 166 seats in total. Therefore the Liberals actually do have enough seats to pass budgets and laws on their own, even if the Cons and the Bloc vote against them, provided the NDP and Elizabeth May abstain. So ha ha!!!

Here's what Carney accomplished:

View on Threads

And here is a great Carney interview from a couple of weeks ago -- half an hour long, but it's well worth listening to. 

Every time I hear Carney talk - about economics, Brexit, the American and Canadian economies, Canada's future - I feel so intelligent because I learn about so much stuff I hadn't understood before:   

 Another piece of great news:

And that brings me to Alberta, where Smith apparently wants to figure out a way to enable the Wexit movement. 

But I expect she will be getting her comeuppance - because the Treaties were signed with the federal government long before the province was created, so ain't nobody goin' anywhere anytime soon. 

Click on this Threads post to hear a great speech today by Brooks Arcand-Paul in the Alberta legislature:

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Sturgeon Lake Cree Nation ain’t having the separatists rhetoric from Smith or her ilk… #abpoli #ableg #cdnpoli

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— The Breakdown AB (@thebreakdownab.bsky.social) April 30, 2025 at 8:41 PM

Back in Ottawa, sounds like Poilievre is still trying to keep his job. But reality will be biting back:

Here's a suggestion for a new career path:

Poilievre is learning, finally, that you should be nice to the people you meet on your way up, because you'll be seeing them again on your way down:

The journalist in Poilievre’s viral "apple" video feels "a substantial degree of satisfaction that Pierre Poilievre lost." "Canadians saw through his three-word grade-school rhyming, and his toxicity and bullying nature which points more to a tearing down, not a unifying of our country."

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— PressProgress (@pressprogress.ca) April 30, 2025 at 11:23 AM

An interesting comment here, from Cole Bennett / Cole.notcole

...Conservative Civil War: Ford and Houston Break Ranks with Poilievre’s Federal Party
The internal fractures within Canada’s Conservative movement widened today as two prominent premiers Ontario’s Doug Ford and Nova Scotia’s Tim Houston publicly distanced themselves from the federal Conservative Party and its embattled leader, Pierre Poilievre....The rift comes amid growing discontent within Conservative ranks about Poilievre’s leadership, with multiple sources confirming that internal divisions are deepening ...

As I noted yesterday, the idea that 144 Conservative MPs and the movers and shakers of a demoralized Conservative party will want to continue to knuckle under to the selfish whims and dictates of a churlish man-child is just a fantasy.

On a happier note, here is some great news about Elizabeth May:

I cannot think of anyone who could fill this role better. She is extremely knowledgeable on #parliamentary procedure and suited for #HouseSpeaker. Elizabeth May works across party lines and would bring decorum back to the House of Commons. #cdnpoli #ElizabethMay www.ctvnews.ca/federal-elec...

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— Spudislander45 🇨🇦❤️🌎💪🫡 (@spudislander45.bsky.social) April 30, 2025 at 7:48 PM

Moving south, this Trump Pretends To Be President reality show is getting unwatchable now. How long is the United States going to put up with this?

So much winning.

- Charlie Sykes

Read on Substack

So Trump is really faltering. And the whispers are becoming louder.

— Anthony Scaramucci (@Scaramucci) April 25, 2025

Trump’s cheese has officially slipped off his cracker.

- Wayne Horton

Read on Substack

Someone is feeling the heat

- Dan Pfeiffer

Read on Substack

He pretends to make laws by publishing tweets and Executive Orders (which actually only affect US executive agencies):

View on Threads

His cabinet is a joke:

The fucking hats. 🤦🏼‍♀️

- JoJoFromJerz

Read on Substack

America now seems to think it can declare war by tweet

View on Threads

Yeah, there's a fine idea!

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"Nutlick"

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Finally, here's an hilarious column about the "Trump Effect":
Jo Jo From Jerz / Are you f'ng kidding me?

Elbows Up Canada
The “Trump Effect” on our friendly neighbors to the north 🇨🇦
Donald Trump—the malfunctioning carnival prize with the intellectual wattage of a microwaved turnip and the self-awareness of a fucking traffic cone in a Cat 5 hurricane, has done it again.
Yep, the walking, talking dumpster fire of congealed hot car aspic, the melted circus peanut with the hair of a feral marmot that lost a bet with a Tesla coil—has outdone himself yet again.
The world famous shit-for-brains sociopath who could start an international incident just by ordering poutine—somehow managed the impossible: his catastrophic buffoonery single-handedly launched Mark Carney into the Canadian election winner’s circle like a moose on a trampoline.
That’s right—Canada, the planet’s global supplier of politeness, the designated driver, the friend who holds your hair back while you projectile vomit half price apps and Midori Sours all over a Ruby Tuesday parking lot, just watched Trump’s antics and collectively said, “Yeah, let’s do literally the opposite of that fucking shit,” before stampeding to the polls.
Canadians were so fucking pissed at Trump they handed the Liberals a win just to flip him the maple-syrup-coated bird. And in the midst of all this, through a series of screw-ups so legendary they make Dave Foley’s wildest fever dreams look like a goddamn Marty Brown’s ad, Trump somehow turned Canada from “that place with polite moose and apologetic lumberjacks” into the world’s hottest VIP lounge - where “Mountie” is now just code for “kinky roleplay,” and the “battle of the Brians” is basically the secret password for a basement sex dungeon everyone pretends not to know about but is absolutely dying to get into.
Canadians are so pathologically polite they’ll de-ice your car, hand over their last ketchup chips, apologize for the weather, and then thank you for giving them the chance to say sorry.
Not so long ago, they were basically the planet’s backup supply of flannel, ice hockey, and intravenous courtesy.
But then came along Donald Trump, with the subtlety of a fucking chainsaw at a yoga retreat, treating Canada like it was the goddamn Death Star.
Canada didn’t flinch. They didn’t apologize for existing. Instead, the entire country united faster than a Tim Hortons drive-thru during a blizzard. Trump’s attacks backfired harder than a beaver trying to twerk on a frozen Zamboni after shotgunning six cans of Molson.
The melon-hued moron who couldn’t find Saskatchewan on a map OF Saskatchewan somehow made Canada the world’s most desirable safe house.
Just two months ago, Canadian conservatives were strutting around with a 25-point lead in the polls—already picking out their new office curtains and practicing their smug victory grins. Fast forward a hundred days and, poof, they managed to fumble it so badly they lost to the political equivalent of a polite shrug. Turns out, all it took was a hundred days of Trump-style far-right cosplay for Canadians to collectively remember they prefer their government without a side of conspiracy theories and chaos.
Before Trump, Canada was the place you called when you needed emergency politeness or a backup Prime Minister. After Trump, Canada became the rebel, the living legend, the country that stared down the world’s loudest toddler and did it all while wearing a toque, sipping a double-double, and not giving a single fuck, eh?
He treated Canada like it was America’s overstuffed junk drawer—crammed with broken hockey sticks, crusty old tires, and so much maple syrup you’d think it was hiding a sticky crime scene—and now he’s finding out that not only is Canada NOT going to be our 51st state, it’s the neighbor who owns a snowblower, knows how to use it, and will absolutely over-salt the fuck out of your driveway out of spite.
Of course, Melon VonShitsHisPants understands economics about as well as a drunk gorilla with a sledgehammer—zero finesse, maximum chaos. He handles trade deals like a reality TV meltdown: loud, clueless, and somehow always blowing shit up for everyone watching.
Meanwhile, Canada was busy flipping the script with the subtlety of a marching band in a meditation retreat. Every time Trump tried to play hardball, Canada responded with the kind of dry, frosty shade that could turn Niagara Falls into a skating rink.
He tried to shove Canada around like a scrawny freshman in the cafeteria, but all he did was turn them into the global equivalent of the effortlessly popular kid who throws legendary parties—complete with craft beer, free healthcare, and not a single risk of being scolded by a malfunctioning animatronic tangerine in an adult diaper and heels.
Hats off, Canada. You took Trump’s bullshit, turned it into stand-up material, and proved the true north is strong, free, and way too fucking dignified for American dumpster fires.
Memo to America: Canada just gave us a sneak preview—try to install the far right, and voters will hit the eject button faster than you can say “Make Pancake Syrup Great Again.”
And Donald? Next time you want to pick a fight, maybe you should try someone your own size—like a day drunk squirrel with a head injury, or a snowbank that was already half-melted and covered in dog piss.
You swaggered in thinking you could bully the world’s politest nation, but all you did was make Canada look like James Bond in a parka while you flailed around like a toddler on a sugar high, smearing Cheeto dust on the drapes.
Congrats, Canada—you were too busy being a functioning country to waste a single breath on Trump’s tantrums. While he flailed like a jaundiced landfill troll with the charm of a clogged toilet, you just kept being gloriously unbothered. Cheers to you for proving sanity and decency are still possible north of the dumpster fire.
And let’s go Rangers!