Today's News: Christ, what an asshole!

Time for this week's edition of "Christ, what an asshole!" 

So this happened:

The perfect candidate for voters whose concerns are less about healthcare and the economy than more relevant issues, like vampires and werewolves.🧛🐺 https://t.co/UEGkcPkvHm

— Mark Hamill (@MarkHamill) November 16, 2022

"A Werewolf can kill a Vampire did you know that? I never knew that so I didn't want to be a Vampire anymore I want to be a Werewolf"

- Republican Hershel Walker #FreakNight https://t.co/HKjsaUfOUb

— AltBlueOhio (@StickerDeep) November 16, 2022

Leading, of course to this:

I saw Herschel Walker telling werewolf stories to a slack-jawed crowd. His hair was perfect.

— J. Elvis Weinstein (@JElvisWeinstein) November 16, 2022

Here's the reference:

   

 Speaking of perfection:

This is perfect pic.twitter.com/29ZEa56ycA

— Megs - mastodon.sdf.org/@the_meghaning (@the_meghaning) November 15, 2022

And here's the reference:

   

And this one, too:

Scoop: Elon Musk just sent an email to all staff outlining "Twitter 2.0", writing it will"need to be extremely hardcore". Long hours, high intensity.

People need to click "yes" to confirm being part of this by 5pm ET tomorrow, else they get 3 months severance. More details:

— Gergely Orosz (@GergelyOrosz) November 16, 2022

In a bold move to make Twitter 2.0 more profitable, Elon has decided to change the culture and working conditions at Twitter HQ to more closely resemble the diamond mines that made him rich in the first place.

— Deej Storer (@DnDeej) November 16, 2022

if I had a nickel for every time a head of lettuce had been placed in a competition where it was compared against a major leader remaining in a position of power and the lettuce had won, I would have 2 nickels

— PPK FS, Malding for Godot (@ppk_fs_) November 16, 2022

And I loved this one, too:

Leave Twitter just because it's fallen into disrepair under terrible leadership? Babe, I'm a Newfoundlander

— Meg Walsh (@EyesMcGee) November 13, 2022

And of course, The Former Guy:

Trump's spellbinding announcement speech held the crowd in rapt attention:pic.twitter.com/o3mDdeGPeW

— Roshan Rinaldi (@Roshan_Rinaldi) November 16, 2022

“Florida Man Makes Announcement”@nypost pic.twitter.com/62mdVTWvRK

— Carl Quintanilla (@carlquintanilla) November 16, 2022

Dion't just laugh this clip from today's @NYPost off as another "Florida Man" joke. It's the horse's head in Trump's bed from Putin's capo, Rupert Murdoch. pic.twitter.com/nylRrTCFmL

— Steve Silberman (@stevesilberman) November 16, 2022

And now Mike Pence is doing interviews to promote his book - of course, he doesn't have the guts to talk to the Jan 6 Committee.

Does Pence’s book also lack a spine?

— Michael Beschloss (@BeschlossDC) November 17, 2022

And John Kelly is also shilling a book. Like Bolton, he could also have spoken up at Trump's impeachments, when it might have made a difference. But no, of course he eidn't...

It's easy to be jaded, but it's not every day that a former White House chief of staff accuses a former American president of an impeachable offense. https://t.co/eAgAJjYsfl

— Steve Benen (@stevebenen) November 14, 2022